la la la... i can't hear you...

Loyal readers, I ask you - how much information is too much information?

Case in point...
About 10 minutes before my shift ended yesterday, a young woman came to pay for a notebook. OOPS! She forgot that she was also looking for some poetry by ee cummings. "Where would I find that?" "Um, in our poetry section" (but that's another story for another day).

She went to look for a book, came back and said:
"OHMYGOD! I have to pee so bad. Don't you hate that? When you're looking for something but you have to pee so bad?! I think I'm going to burst. Omigod. Omigod. I really have to pee."

I exchanged glances with one of my coworkers and rang through her sale. As she was gathering her bag to leave, she mentioned again, as if maybe we had missed it the first time, "OHMYGOD! I have to pee. Holy crap. I have to find a washroom, like, right now. GOD don't you hate that?!"

And with that she was out the door.

Now, hearing customers' sob stories seems to be a frequent occurance in retail. It's not enough that they have to tell you the whole story behind them needing a bag.

("Do you need a bag?" "Ummmmmm........ yeah, cause it's starting to rain and I have to make 3 more stops before I go home to my sick child, and the book is kinda heavy, not to mention attractive, so I wouldn't want it getting ruined in the rain, while I make my 3 stops, cause I'm looking for a pair of shoes. By the way, do you know where I could get a nice pair of shoes around here? Mine are really old, and I think it's time I get some new ones. And I'm hungry. What's a nice brunch spot in the area?")

Seriously, though, why do we (and I'm sure I'm guilty of this from time to time too) feel the need to explain ourselves to strangers? Why can't we just say "Yes I'd like a bag" PERIOD. END OF CONVERSATION. And I certainly don't want to know if you have to "piss like a racehorse."

Please.

Keep it to yourself.