six of one...

So, dear, loyal, patient readers, we have gone from too-busy-to-find-something-to-write-about to too-dead-to-find-something-to-write-about. Christmas? Over! Boxing week sale? Over! Mind-numbing boredom? Just beginning!

I've decided that maybe the best course of action here is to keep it quick. Small snippets of craziness, rather than long drawn out stories (unless the day merits one).

Today I'll break down the "happenings" into three categories:
1) Why I shouldn't be alowed around famous people
2) You and your teacher can kiss my ass
3) Get out of my store you dumb fuck

1)
So I'm at the store, minding my business, reading the latest Glamour magazine, when who should walk in but none other than Ms. Sarah Harmer herself. I watched her in a semi-stalking-but-more-like-observing-gently way as she made her way around the store, browsing elegantly. She came up to the cash and this was, more or less, the exchange we had:

Sarah: "Sarah Slean put out a book a while ago. I was told you had it."
Me: "I wish! I think we had it on consignment, cause it's not in the system. I know we did have it at some point, but we don't anymore."
S: "Oh well. Thanks anyway"
Me: "I'm a huuuuge fan, by the way. Oh lord, I sound like such a dork. I'm sorry. I just thought I should say something. Gawd, I'm such a dork."
S: "Hey, be a dork. Thank you."

I'm sorry, but I thought that was the coolest thing she could have said. I still felt like I had a big scarlet L on my chest, but, man, was I dignified.

2)
It's January. That means that schools have entered their second semester. Students, especially those who attend my favorite of all post-secondary institutions, *insert name of local art college here*, have been scurrying like little bratty bunnies into our store looking for crappy graphic design manuals. They all come in and ask for the same books and when we say we don't have them, that we haven't had them in months even, they look all pained and wounded. This is where the usual retort of "but my teacher told me I could get it here" comes in. Now, at first I was apologetic:
"Oh, sorry, yeah, we used to have it, but we're sold out right now."
But now, as student after painstakingly unoriginal student comes in, my patience has worn thin. My response has become a smarmy, somewhat bitchy:
"Well, maybe your teacher should have told US about this before they sent you all."
Or, in weaker and slightly hungry moments:
"Can you tell your teacher to stop sending you all here? We don't have any of these!"

This job is turning me into such an impatient brat.

3)
This story needs a preface: we have a very straight forward, albeit strict return policy. If you keep your receipt, you have 2 weeks to exchange or get a credit for your purchase. At Christmas time and in the weeks following, we have been much more lenient. We're still taking exchanges on things purchased at the beginning of December.

Anyway, yesterday this guy comes in, returns a book and gets a credit. I knew something was strange when he said "So how long do I have this for?" and I said "do you mean when does it expire?" and he said "no, when is it good until?" Oy. I told him it was good until he used it. It doesn't expire. Just don't lose it. Blank stare, blink blink, nod, awkward eye scan.

Today the same guy comes up and asks if we would buy his credit off him. I told him we couldn't do that and he just looked at me and said "but there's nothing I want to buy!" I told him that he didn't have to decide right away, that he could come back whenever he felt like it, whenever there was something he liked, and use it then. This seemed to panic him even more. At this point, another woman had come up to the cash and was attempting to buy a book. Dude asked if she would buy the credit off him. She didn't look too sure about it, but said she would try, but she didn't have the cash. Then, more panicked, he looked around the desk, looked at her, looked at me and picked up the credit again (I should mention that it was for a whole $17.66). I told him he could use it on magazines, stationary, anything in the store, anytime he wanted.

To make a long story short (too late, I know), he went over to the magazines and brought back three randomly girly magazines that he said were for his girlfriend: Lucky (a magazine about shopping), some home decorating magazine and Modern Bride. It came to just over $18 and he had to pay the difference. He was about to interac the $0.69, since he only had $0.47, but I just took that and told him I'd call it even. The whole exchange made me feel dirty.



So that's that. We're up to date. I'm trying, I really am. I don't even know who reads this (besides the two people who have commented on my lack of updating) so I hope that those two (oh, you know who you are...) keep reading and keep enjoying.